Both, same girl, early. I knew Khalani forever. We were very young, and very close, and then she moved away. When her mother brought her to visit (which only happened once a year or so) we would spend the time together blissfully ignorant of ourselves. My first non-family kiss happened with her - we were probably 5 or 6, maybe. Not sure. I just remember being young and it was summer and it was somehow right. I'm not convinced that kind of childish exploration is damaging - provided both children are willing participants and there is no stigmatized trauma associated with it (which can be caused by parents overreacting to the situation; thanks to Marge Piercy for that viewpoint).
My first 'girlfriend' was Shannon, and we had the same birthday. I was something like 14 hours older than her. We were in 5th grade and that's where we both learned to kiss - not the mindless impassionate pressing of lips that Khalani and I did (which, in retrospect, is both silly and just fine), but the hormone-driven desire to have someone's lips on yours. Shannon and I were together off and on for most of middle school - most of 5th grade and then most of another grade (can't remember which), and then that was it. Not sure why, but then I wasn't introspective then, much less retrospective yet.
So there's that. First love, first kiss, twice.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Day/Entry 9: How you hope your future will be like
First, I hope my future is more grammatically-correct than this prompt would imply.
I'll be married, 2 kids, a woman who loves me for who I am, challenges me in the ways I need challenging, and supports me in that which I do. I'll be a professor of Higher Education, or maybe just an administrator, at a Research-Intensive institution. I'll live somewhere I can see my friends and family. I'll have the freedom (both of time and resources) to travel regularly to the other 170 countries I haven't been to.
Most important in all of this is that I'll be with someone I love who loves me, near the friends I love to be near, and in a job that challenges me appropriately and pays respectfully. I know that's not too detailed, but I'm not convinced more detail is necessary.
I'll be married, 2 kids, a woman who loves me for who I am, challenges me in the ways I need challenging, and supports me in that which I do. I'll be a professor of Higher Education, or maybe just an administrator, at a Research-Intensive institution. I'll live somewhere I can see my friends and family. I'll have the freedom (both of time and resources) to travel regularly to the other 170 countries I haven't been to.
Most important in all of this is that I'll be with someone I love who loves me, near the friends I love to be near, and in a job that challenges me appropriately and pays respectfully. I know that's not too detailed, but I'm not convinced more detail is necessary.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Day 8: A moment you felt the most satisfied with your life.
This actually happened the other day. Not unlike most other recent days, this one had me, the girl, and cozy joy all wrapped up in it. I can't really describe or put my finger on what made it a 'most-satisfied' type of day, but it involved having people I love, a woman I love, comfort, contentment, and a feeling of accomplishment. Sometimes I'm like her, and just want to 'squish it's little head' in my hands and make childish noises at it. In this case, 'it' was my day with her. It happens frequently now, so it's 'nothing special' in the sense of a rare occurrence. But, it's all good. Sometimes, it's that moment right before falling asleep where I remember that she like who I am, as I am, and that I actually have wonderful, close friends who'll do anything for me, a roof over my head, a job (I don't like but pays most of the bills), a car that works, two pets that love me for all their world and another that likes me when it suits her feline self, and a comfy pillow and a scratch on the back that makes me purr. Satisfying.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Day 7: zodiac sign and whether it fits me
Gemini. Totally fits. I am stereotypical - have two lives even. I'm deep in more than one thing and good at more than one thing. There's an artistic me, and a mathematical me. A stoic me, and a soft, pliable me. Fits perfectly.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Day 6: Thirty Interesting Facts About Myself
I've been looking forward to this one, which is why there are three posts today...
1. I was born with a blood blister on my head the size of a coaster, and it probably was the cause of my narrow-shaped head.
2. I did comedy, on stage, in middle school. For talent shows. I made girls pee their pants.
3. I had perfect pitch, and then I ruined it playing the drums too loud.
4. I got suspended from school in 5th grade for inciting a petition to get a sub removed from class for 'giving us the wrong assignment' in math because it was way too hard.
5. I used to steal money from my mom's purse and use it to buy people things at the a-la-carte line in order to get friends. It didn't work, but I never felt popular otherwise. Middle school was rough...
6. I have more schooling than most humans have life. I've been in college for 15 years or so, have 3 formal degrees, a master's certificate in music, and am almost to the writing phase of my Ph.D. - then I'll probably start another something.
7. I couldn't ride a bike until I was about 8 or 9 because I was scared.
8. I wouldn't catch a fly ball in little league because getting under it scared me.
9. Until I got in to high school, all that stuff that scared me got reversed and I became a daredevil.
10. I've jumped off 100 foot cliffs into Lake Powell, and 4-story buildings onto concrete. On purpose.
11. I speak Glaswegian, bad German, bad French, terrible Latin, and getting-better Swedish.
12. I've always like the character I'm not supposed to - Loki more than Thor or Odin, Hector more than Achilles, and Superman from Superman Returns more than any other version (except maybe JMS's).
13. I read comic books regularly. I collect Spider Man, Batman, and anything by Bendis, Millar, JMS, and so on.
14. I was born with blood red hair. It all fell out, I'm told, and then it came in super-blonde. My hair was platinum blonde, almost pure white, until I went to Scotland in college. It's been reddish ever since.
15. I don't have any feeling in my right index finger due to a table saw accident the summer before my freshman year.
16. I am trained in swordsmanship - at one point in the last five years I was among the top 25 rapier fighters in the world. I've been called the golden child of the weapon in the SCA, and haven't fought more than 5 times in the last year and it kills me. I used to be one of the best spear fighters in the SCA as well, but I haven't done that in much longer...
17. If I could go back and do things different, even if it meant starting over from an earlier age, I would. I have regrets and can't overcome them.
18. I don't know how to talk to women, or tell what their thinking, or if they like me. It's made for a very difficult manhood.
19. I wish I had joined the Army. I frequently fantasize about it now. When I was high school and the first Gulf War happened I was chicken and was worried. Now, I wish I would have done that rather than come to college immediately. I regret not serving my country and fellow man.
20. I tried to get on Jeopardy and Who Wants To Be a Millionaire. I never got past the first screenings, but I've always been great while playing against the show. I'm a trivia guru...
21. I envy. Too much. I wish my SES or Academic Capital or Whatever had been different so I could have been more successful.
22. Happiness comes hard to me. I have to work at accepting it and not over-thinking it or having disastrous suspicions.
23. I'm a sucker for red-heads, blondes, and girls with pale skin. And accents of a certain type.
24. Thus, girls have frequently gotten the best of me, so I have chosen to be untrusting. This leads to 22, above, and 18. I am suspicious, usually, and unbelieving when someone is being truthful.
25. I grew up in the most beautiful part of the country, on a lake, and could pilot a boat before I could ride a bike, (and waterski).
26. I studied Medieval History in Glasgow, Scotland for a year. Best academic year of my life.
27. I have applied to do a Fulbright study in Oslo, Norway, and I'm losing my mind waiting for an answer.
28. I am the king of steak. I know where to get the best quality, how to cook it, and how it is done best. Bobby Flay has nothing on me...
29. I ride a motorcycle, and have for over a decade now. I'm not on a Harley, but I'm a fan of that whole motorcycle gang subculture (although I'm probably a Rubbie)
30. I like doing dry wall - there's something about the finished project that I enjoy. I don't like most things like that, but putting it up and making it look good is awesome. Oh yeah, I'm great with my hands and as a handyman...
1. I was born with a blood blister on my head the size of a coaster, and it probably was the cause of my narrow-shaped head.
2. I did comedy, on stage, in middle school. For talent shows. I made girls pee their pants.
3. I had perfect pitch, and then I ruined it playing the drums too loud.
4. I got suspended from school in 5th grade for inciting a petition to get a sub removed from class for 'giving us the wrong assignment' in math because it was way too hard.
5. I used to steal money from my mom's purse and use it to buy people things at the a-la-carte line in order to get friends. It didn't work, but I never felt popular otherwise. Middle school was rough...
6. I have more schooling than most humans have life. I've been in college for 15 years or so, have 3 formal degrees, a master's certificate in music, and am almost to the writing phase of my Ph.D. - then I'll probably start another something.
7. I couldn't ride a bike until I was about 8 or 9 because I was scared.
8. I wouldn't catch a fly ball in little league because getting under it scared me.
9. Until I got in to high school, all that stuff that scared me got reversed and I became a daredevil.
10. I've jumped off 100 foot cliffs into Lake Powell, and 4-story buildings onto concrete. On purpose.
11. I speak Glaswegian, bad German, bad French, terrible Latin, and getting-better Swedish.
12. I've always like the character I'm not supposed to - Loki more than Thor or Odin, Hector more than Achilles, and Superman from Superman Returns more than any other version (except maybe JMS's).
13. I read comic books regularly. I collect Spider Man, Batman, and anything by Bendis, Millar, JMS, and so on.
14. I was born with blood red hair. It all fell out, I'm told, and then it came in super-blonde. My hair was platinum blonde, almost pure white, until I went to Scotland in college. It's been reddish ever since.
15. I don't have any feeling in my right index finger due to a table saw accident the summer before my freshman year.
16. I am trained in swordsmanship - at one point in the last five years I was among the top 25 rapier fighters in the world. I've been called the golden child of the weapon in the SCA, and haven't fought more than 5 times in the last year and it kills me. I used to be one of the best spear fighters in the SCA as well, but I haven't done that in much longer...
17. If I could go back and do things different, even if it meant starting over from an earlier age, I would. I have regrets and can't overcome them.
18. I don't know how to talk to women, or tell what their thinking, or if they like me. It's made for a very difficult manhood.
19. I wish I had joined the Army. I frequently fantasize about it now. When I was high school and the first Gulf War happened I was chicken and was worried. Now, I wish I would have done that rather than come to college immediately. I regret not serving my country and fellow man.
20. I tried to get on Jeopardy and Who Wants To Be a Millionaire. I never got past the first screenings, but I've always been great while playing against the show. I'm a trivia guru...
21. I envy. Too much. I wish my SES or Academic Capital or Whatever had been different so I could have been more successful.
22. Happiness comes hard to me. I have to work at accepting it and not over-thinking it or having disastrous suspicions.
23. I'm a sucker for red-heads, blondes, and girls with pale skin. And accents of a certain type.
24. Thus, girls have frequently gotten the best of me, so I have chosen to be untrusting. This leads to 22, above, and 18. I am suspicious, usually, and unbelieving when someone is being truthful.
25. I grew up in the most beautiful part of the country, on a lake, and could pilot a boat before I could ride a bike, (and waterski).
26. I studied Medieval History in Glasgow, Scotland for a year. Best academic year of my life.
27. I have applied to do a Fulbright study in Oslo, Norway, and I'm losing my mind waiting for an answer.
28. I am the king of steak. I know where to get the best quality, how to cook it, and how it is done best. Bobby Flay has nothing on me...
29. I ride a motorcycle, and have for over a decade now. I'm not on a Harley, but I'm a fan of that whole motorcycle gang subculture (although I'm probably a Rubbie)
30. I like doing dry wall - there's something about the finished project that I enjoy. I don't like most things like that, but putting it up and making it look good is awesome. Oh yeah, I'm great with my hands and as a handyman...
Day five: A time when you thought about ending your own life.
Well, I think every unpopular boy does that in middle or high school. I did, but never seriously.
After the divorce, it was very hard to go on, and I thought it about it a little, but again never seriously. I call a hotline once during that time, but it was more to feel like someone cared. I've always had good friends, and unless I'm dying from some horrible wasting disease that is incurable and causing everyone harm (or have the risk of being turned in to a zombie) there is pretty much a infinitesimal chance of anything like that happening. I'm too intellectually driven for that, and that which would be left behind for my loved ones is too much to put on them. Ever. So, while I'm not 'pure' in the sense that I've never thought about it (I'm way too dark to have never thought about it), I'm definitely not one to consider it (which is completely different from thinking about it - one is a though-experiment, one is a plan for a course of action).
I've had friends commit suicide. I've had family members do it. My parents had friends who have done it. While the individual may have ended their suffering (pending your reading of forgivable sins), it's not worth it to those left behind. Selfish cheaters...
After the divorce, it was very hard to go on, and I thought it about it a little, but again never seriously. I call a hotline once during that time, but it was more to feel like someone cared. I've always had good friends, and unless I'm dying from some horrible wasting disease that is incurable and causing everyone harm (or have the risk of being turned in to a zombie) there is pretty much a infinitesimal chance of anything like that happening. I'm too intellectually driven for that, and that which would be left behind for my loved ones is too much to put on them. Ever. So, while I'm not 'pure' in the sense that I've never thought about it (I'm way too dark to have never thought about it), I'm definitely not one to consider it (which is completely different from thinking about it - one is a though-experiment, one is a plan for a course of action).
I've had friends commit suicide. I've had family members do it. My parents had friends who have done it. While the individual may have ended their suffering (pending your reading of forgivable sins), it's not worth it to those left behind. Selfish cheaters...
Day four: views on religion
A lot of people might find this surprising, but I'm a Christian. I have been my entire life. I attended church 3 times a week until I went off to college. And then I quit. By then, I'd had enough of watching men dictate what God wanted, be mean and spiteful and harmful to each other, and do so in the name of the 'church'. So, I'm not a church-going Christian. But, I believe he died for my sins, I was baptized for forgiveness, belive that his revelation (the words in red) are the key to everlasting life in heaven, and I try to live my life to the best of my ability. I don't go to church, don't wear my religion on my vest, but those that know me know that I am a faithful, devoted person, will do anything for my friends, try to help my fellow man, and wile I probably could use a cleansing of my verbage to sound better, but I'm a good person.
I also believe that men have screwed up religion. Being faithful is one thing. Being a zealot may be good, but I don't think anyone has it right. I'm not Jewish, but Christ was an all he wanted to do was reform Judaism. I'm not Muslim but the Prophet converted to monotheism and believed that Judaism and Christianity were valid paths to salvation, if only damaged by the work of men. Christians who call Jews and Muslims heretics (or vice-versa) are missing the point - you're supposed to love thy neighbor as thy self, not cast the first stone...
I don't believe in reincarnation, and while Buddhism is a great way to live a normatively good life (and I don't think it is inherently incompatible with Christianity - the four noble truths and the eightfold path aren't too different from Christian teachings), it lacks a wholesome forgiving quality that is embodied by Christ. Hinduism is archaic, and while culturally valid I don't see that it is a proscription for living a good life.
My best friend is Baha'i and while I don't agree with the concept of a late revelation as witnessed by their founder, he and his wife (and their community) are the BEST people I know. They don't hate, they don't judge, they don't harm, and they do everything they can to live the best life and are paragons of goodness. They are, unfortunately, better than any Christians I have met. So, if their faith is some backwater paganism founded in Zoroastrian theology then whatever. They love like a Christian should.
I agree with Ghandi - "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
I also believe that men have screwed up religion. Being faithful is one thing. Being a zealot may be good, but I don't think anyone has it right. I'm not Jewish, but Christ was an all he wanted to do was reform Judaism. I'm not Muslim but the Prophet converted to monotheism and believed that Judaism and Christianity were valid paths to salvation, if only damaged by the work of men. Christians who call Jews and Muslims heretics (or vice-versa) are missing the point - you're supposed to love thy neighbor as thy self, not cast the first stone...
I don't believe in reincarnation, and while Buddhism is a great way to live a normatively good life (and I don't think it is inherently incompatible with Christianity - the four noble truths and the eightfold path aren't too different from Christian teachings), it lacks a wholesome forgiving quality that is embodied by Christ. Hinduism is archaic, and while culturally valid I don't see that it is a proscription for living a good life.
My best friend is Baha'i and while I don't agree with the concept of a late revelation as witnessed by their founder, he and his wife (and their community) are the BEST people I know. They don't hate, they don't judge, they don't harm, and they do everything they can to live the best life and are paragons of goodness. They are, unfortunately, better than any Christians I have met. So, if their faith is some backwater paganism founded in Zoroastrian theology then whatever. They love like a Christian should.
I agree with Ghandi - "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
Friday, December 10, 2010
Day three: Your views on drugs and alcohol
Pff.
I don't drink because it all tastes like piss. Drinking isn't bad, I just never got in to it. Too much is terrible, and I know I'm better off (both financially and intellectually) because I don't. I'm glad my lady doesn't get drunk and my abstinence doesn't bother her.
I don't do drugs, because I'm not retarded. I'm going to get dumber as I get older anyway, and I can't imagine what is good about taking something that speeds up the neural decay that comes with age. I think, and this isn't based in science, that all these people my age and younger who think weed is perfectly fine and that everyone is doing it are idiots. They're going to all be in homes by the time their 65, suffering from neuropathic diseases and Alzheimer's and Parkinson's and so on.
I would, though, like to hallucinate. That said, I'm not going to take something that brings that about. I have a kidney thing that means all I can take for pain is Aspirin, so I'm pretty much clean as a whistle at this point.
So, there's that...
I don't drink because it all tastes like piss. Drinking isn't bad, I just never got in to it. Too much is terrible, and I know I'm better off (both financially and intellectually) because I don't. I'm glad my lady doesn't get drunk and my abstinence doesn't bother her.
I don't do drugs, because I'm not retarded. I'm going to get dumber as I get older anyway, and I can't imagine what is good about taking something that speeds up the neural decay that comes with age. I think, and this isn't based in science, that all these people my age and younger who think weed is perfectly fine and that everyone is doing it are idiots. They're going to all be in homes by the time their 65, suffering from neuropathic diseases and Alzheimer's and Parkinson's and so on.
I would, though, like to hallucinate. That said, I'm not going to take something that brings that about. I have a kidney thing that means all I can take for pain is Aspirin, so I'm pretty much clean as a whistle at this point.
So, there's that...
Day two: Where I'd like to be in 10 years.
I'd like to be a professor in a research university, ideally in an international city (a place with easy travel to/from my research sites in Europe and Africa). I want to do something in the realm of investigating the differences and comparisons in higher education between US and other schools, as I firmly believe that we can (and should) learn from those other places and generally choose to be egocentric and ignore them.
I think in 10 years I should have a kid that's at least 5, maybe two. I don't want to be doing the little kid thing when I'm 50 and I'm 35 now. I sound like a woman - so I should probably get married too somewhere between here and there. Ten years ago I didn't want kids, 5 years I did and couldn't have them, now it's not too late anymore.
Oh, and I want to have Great Danes. And maybe a terrier or something to boss them around.
I think in 10 years I should have a kid that's at least 5, maybe two. I don't want to be doing the little kid thing when I'm 50 and I'm 35 now. I sound like a woman - so I should probably get married too somewhere between here and there. Ten years ago I didn't want kids, 5 years I did and couldn't have them, now it's not too late anymore.
Oh, and I want to have Great Danes. And maybe a terrier or something to boss them around.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Day 1: Your current relationship
She's great. I was resistant at first, very slow to accept the fact that someone in my life could actually like me for me, for who I am, as I am. So, I was resistant. Now, though, I'm pretty much stuck and happy about it. We have the right things in common, she's a better, more caring person than I am, and it makes me happy to be able to be the dark one with some light to strive towards. So, it's the best thing that's happened in nearly a decade, and I'm happier (and hopefully) better for it.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Fall
So, I'm not any good at this continued post nonsense. Maybe I don't have enough to say, maybe not. Regardless, I just finished a big project and wanted to take a step forward. Here goes.
I can't thank people enough. There are people in my life that make it, well, livable. I don't want to come across as emo but I went through some darkness in my past and didn't expect to have happy like I do right now.
The woman in my life makes me smile, cuddle, and have all sorts of unmanly feelings (in addition to manly ones, of course). She helped with the big project by being a critical nazi and making the grammar, well, more grammar-ey. Thanks to her, I've finished an application to a huge program and if it goes, I'll have to leave her for a year. That's the kind of support she gives me - it hurts her and stresses her to think about me potentially taking off to be - uhm, let me check google earth real quick - 5,266 miles away (as the big giant crow flies, while wearing winter clothes to survive passing Grønland). She's great. Woot.
There are others who make me happy too though: My roomie and my best friend, the whole gaming groups - they make Thursdays one of the best nights of the week. I don't think I've done anything this consistently, on a weekly basis, since marching band in high school, or maybe fighter practice when it was all I wanted to do. It's been almost three years now, and I can't thank that crew enough for being there every week to make life a little more fantastical.
The twins are great. Especially after a bath (which the woman in my life helps with). They're soft and cuddly and just want to be happy and near you. You. Yes, you. They may have never met you, but they love you dearly. Can't help but love them back.
Yeah, so it's fall and the leaves aren't changing but the temperatures are perfect and the weather is gorgeous. Makes me think about the coming winter and the deadlines are far enough off to be non-deadlines and I'm just glad to be in the place I'm in right now.
Schmaltzy? Yes. Gay? Maybe a little. But I'm here, and it's awesome, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Thanks!
I can't thank people enough. There are people in my life that make it, well, livable. I don't want to come across as emo but I went through some darkness in my past and didn't expect to have happy like I do right now.
The woman in my life makes me smile, cuddle, and have all sorts of unmanly feelings (in addition to manly ones, of course). She helped with the big project by being a critical nazi and making the grammar, well, more grammar-ey. Thanks to her, I've finished an application to a huge program and if it goes, I'll have to leave her for a year. That's the kind of support she gives me - it hurts her and stresses her to think about me potentially taking off to be - uhm, let me check google earth real quick - 5,266 miles away (as the big giant crow flies, while wearing winter clothes to survive passing Grønland). She's great. Woot.
There are others who make me happy too though: My roomie and my best friend, the whole gaming groups - they make Thursdays one of the best nights of the week. I don't think I've done anything this consistently, on a weekly basis, since marching band in high school, or maybe fighter practice when it was all I wanted to do. It's been almost three years now, and I can't thank that crew enough for being there every week to make life a little more fantastical.
The twins are great. Especially after a bath (which the woman in my life helps with). They're soft and cuddly and just want to be happy and near you. You. Yes, you. They may have never met you, but they love you dearly. Can't help but love them back.
Yeah, so it's fall and the leaves aren't changing but the temperatures are perfect and the weather is gorgeous. Makes me think about the coming winter and the deadlines are far enough off to be non-deadlines and I'm just glad to be in the place I'm in right now.
Schmaltzy? Yes. Gay? Maybe a little. But I'm here, and it's awesome, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Thanks!
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Next.
So.
What now?
Semester's over and I'm not really sure what to do with all this extra time. It's not that I actually have much extra time, but I'm not using my brain for anything conscious right now. For a couple days now. It's weird.
I started re-reading an old book from my callous youth - Weis & Hickman's Dragon's of Autumn Twilight - and I have to say it's the best Twilight book ever written. Gaming dorks - you hear me.
I've read it for about 30 minutes, total. I'm 1/3rd of the way through it. Almost 150 pages. If only articles in The Chronicle of Higher Education were this easy to digest.
Anyway, that's me for now. Trying to figure out what's me for now.
I get back in to one class (maybe two) in June, but right now I've got a couple weeks where my brain gets to turn off, by comparison.
Not hating it at all.
Woot.
What now?
Semester's over and I'm not really sure what to do with all this extra time. It's not that I actually have much extra time, but I'm not using my brain for anything conscious right now. For a couple days now. It's weird.
I started re-reading an old book from my callous youth - Weis & Hickman's Dragon's of Autumn Twilight - and I have to say it's the best Twilight book ever written. Gaming dorks - you hear me.
I've read it for about 30 minutes, total. I'm 1/3rd of the way through it. Almost 150 pages. If only articles in The Chronicle of Higher Education were this easy to digest.
Anyway, that's me for now. Trying to figure out what's me for now.
I get back in to one class (maybe two) in June, but right now I've got a couple weeks where my brain gets to turn off, by comparison.
Not hating it at all.
Woot.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
gonna pay for it
Republican spokesman Tim Bee spoke to a group of students at the U of A recently and told the story I'm paraphrasing here: He was stopped by a constituent who demanded that the state reopen our closed rest-stops. He said 'we're working on it - that's why we're trying to get this tax passed.' She responded with 'well, you can't raise my taxes.' When pressed on how to pay for the services without raising taxes, she said 'that's the government's problem.'
In short, we want it all, we want it now, and we don't want to pay for it.
So, over the last couple of weeks my great state decided they hadn't had enough national-ridicule or international derision. The now-famous Senate Bill 1070 has been derided as a return to Nazi Germany and lauded as a way to protect churches, and said to be responsible for the Balkanization of Policy. Regardless of what it says, it's polarizing my facebook page. I have friends on both sides, keep seeing pundits discussing it, and recently Robert Shelton, the President of U of A, reported Honors Students are pulling out and going to other schools due to SB1070.
I'm a moderate. I believe government should be accountable to the people, but that we, the people, elect government to legislate and rule in our stead, as well as on our behalf. I'm not convinced our system is designed to support this, or to enable growth or progress, so I'm going to join the Tea Party calls to kick everyone out of office.
We've had a republican-controlled legislature in Arizona since the myocene era, and the lowest per-pupil spending in education since people stopped using doubloons to pay for grog.
We've only had one republican governor (Hull) elected to office and NOT impeached/forced to resign since Jack Williams left office in 1975, with the bulk of those intervening governors (Castro, Bolin, Babbit, Mofford, & Napolitano) being democrats - and we still don't have an education system that works.
That's my entire life. Two Republican governors removed from office. Five Democratic governors who didn't fix the education-funding system.
Everyone sucks.
Republicans - you suck because you demand 'small government' and 'personal responsibility' while protecting Enron and making it impossible for the poor to overcome the adversity of not being rich.
Democrats - you suck because you call for protection of civil liberties but won't accept that the world is a dark and scary place and we need an army with a big stick.
Libertarians - you suck for not realizing that the founding fathers were rich white men motivated to protect their economic interests and didn't have the foresight to do a number of things we've since had to correct (discrimination, equal rights, etc...).
Independents - you suck because you aren't willing to CHANGE what a political party is by working from within, while failing to admit that we have a two-party system.
Now, I'm a registered democrat and vote in every election. I'm not married to "my" party though. I own a gun - several in fact. I even have a concealed-carry permit in the mail. I think my economic status is determined by my own actions, and to a lesser extent the actions of my parents. I'm not rich, and it's not because "the man" is keeping me down. Hell, if you look at me, I'm more likely to be the man than a lot of my friends. If I can't afford health insurance (which I couldn't for a while), I don't get sick. If my car breaks, I don't need a government handout to repair it. I'm in over my head in mortgage debt and student-loans, and don't appreciate the government 'helping' everyone else who isn't doing what I'm doing to pay the bills. That said, Fannie Mae made it possible for me to own a house in the first place, and Federal Aid put me through college (four times now).
I wouldn't be where I am without "socialist" services. I'm glad my taxes pay for these things. I am, though, angry that I don't pay more in taxes.
That's right - I said more.
I think these social services are necessary: welfare helps keep the streets safe and keeps children from starving to death; I'm very fond of having a police officer a phone call away; every child in my state deserves a good education, and it's my duty to pay for part of it. So far, Arizonans aren't doing that.
State Property Tax was suspended temporarily and is being motioned to be eliminated entirely. All property-tax in the state is levied by the county, and the lion's share of this is driven by school districts. Instead, state-services are driven by sales-tax and income tax. Sales tax, of course, is a regressive tax whereas property tax is progressive. Arizonans want to charge people who need services (like public school) a greater percentage of their income than those who can afford private services in lieu.
The issue, of course, is that people don't like taxes, and politicians won't get elected if they are in favor of them. (In Governor Brewer's defense, she is historically an anti-tax maven and is the leading proponent of Proposition 100's tax-increase. But then, she's probably not going to win the election in the fall.)
Cutting my taxes sounds good. Cutting my services doesn't. No one is campaigning on services though, not in Arizona.
In the aforementioned speech by Bee, he said that an 10% increase in property tax would generate enough money to fix the state's $3B deficit, and only cost him about $400 per year. Split over 12 (in my case 26) mortgage payments, I can afford that. So do it.
Oh yeah, no one gets reelected raising taxes. Fine with me - they all deserve to be fired for getting us in the position in the first place (Dems and Reps both - no one is innocent at our Capitol). Republicans need to be fired for constantly calling for the state to be in debt. Democrats need to be fired for not doing more to fix it.
After 35 years of them pushing our state into the hole it's in, I can't imagine that an entirely new crop could do much worse. Maybe, just maybe, we should do the smart thing and elect an economist...
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Biters can bite me
So, I saw the first Twilight movie. Didn't think it was that horrible. So I read the book. Again, not that horrible. I really enjoy scenes where vampires/monsters/powers do stuff that's designed to make mere mortal humans quail in their drawers. So, watching a dude stop a car with his hand was cool. The terrible CGI-running-through-the-woods stuff, that killed my soul a little. Anyway, it wasn't all horrible.
Then 6 months passed. The trailers for New Moon came out and again, they showed badass monsters doing badass monster things. I was driven by a desire to see a werewolf just shred the hell out of a vampire - either alone (badass) or in a pack (more badass). The trailer teased me, so I wanted to see New Moon.
The woman in my life, for whom I have much thanks and appreciation, hadn't seen the first film, so I Netflixed it in order to give her a chance to be on first base when the 2nd one came out.
Big mistake.
Terrible, huge, big mistake.
Turns out, I'm an idiot. Or a fanboy-for-a-moment.
Turns out that Twilight was actually terrible. Horrible acting. Horrible leads. Weak, lame, poorly executed Romeo & Juliet moments. And frankly, the 'actress' who plays Bella only had two emotions.
And don't get me started on the falling in love forever, at first sight nonsense.
So, after the first DVD was finished, she said "That was really bad". More derision on the actress that played Bella, and her one-dimensional character.
And I just couldn't get in to vampire-boy's 'charming, glittering good looks'. Looks to me like he got hit in the face with a shovel - except it didn't break his nose, just flattened everything out.
Then, we watch another film with her in it (Adventureland), and she was THE EXACT SAME PERSON! The show wasn't bad, but she portrayed the exact same emotional stretch, depth, and variation as she did when playing Bella. So, the woman in my life for whom I have much affection said "Maybe it's just her".
Enter New Moon. I have to admit, it did take 30 minutes before we couldn't resist complaining about the slow pacing, terrible storyline, horribly sudden plot jerks, and the unfortunate downplay of the Vampires v. Werewolves moment. (And the big hole in the ethics, where the wolf says the vampires get to hang out unless one of them bites a human - after the human tells the wolf that one of them bit her. Should have been open season on the leeches.)
Again, it was terrible. Which made me wonder, what the hell are all these people thinking? Sure, it's made for women (who don't want wolf-vamp violence as much as they may prefer 'true love'). Sure, it's made by committee (Stephanie Meyer didn't write the screenplay, and producers spend money to keep their fingers in the pie). But still, it really wasn't very good.
Again, the woman in my life whom I can't get enough of, pointed out something interesting. The other characters in the film (the rest of the vampires, the outsider werewolves, the friends in the high school (including the one with the Oscar nomination for Up in the Air) and the vampires in Italy) - all of them are MORE INTERESTING than Bella and Edward. Hell, even Jacob was overshadowed by the rest of the wolves.
Plus, they got Dakota Fanning to play what seems like the baddest vampire of them all. Not sure what she can do, why she can do it, and why she isn't ruling the world, but she's interesting. I want to know more about her. And Alice. And the rest of the Cullens. Anyone but Edward and Bella.
DAKOTA FANNING! And the power, well, that does it for me. I want to see Vampires wreck people. I want to see the wreck each other. The one that can do so with a thought - that's the movie I want to see.
Don't get me wrong, I like a good love story. The Romeo & Juliet with Claire Danes was pretty good. I watch Love, Actually pretty much every time TiVo picks it up. I laughed at The Proposal. I'm kind of a sucker for love. Teen infatuation, though, not so much.
Anyway, I just wanted to vomit about what is being sold to little girls as an empowering relationship between THE MAN and his little woman, who needs him to keep her safe, needs him to make her feel good, needs him to feel a thrill, needs him in order to have any strength of personality or worth in the world. She's not smart. She's not talented. She's not graceful. She's just 'special' in the world of Vampires - without which she'd just be that girl in the cast at the dance...
Edward, Bella... y'all can bite me.
Then 6 months passed. The trailers for New Moon came out and again, they showed badass monsters doing badass monster things. I was driven by a desire to see a werewolf just shred the hell out of a vampire - either alone (badass) or in a pack (more badass). The trailer teased me, so I wanted to see New Moon.
The woman in my life, for whom I have much thanks and appreciation, hadn't seen the first film, so I Netflixed it in order to give her a chance to be on first base when the 2nd one came out.
Big mistake.
Terrible, huge, big mistake.
Turns out, I'm an idiot. Or a fanboy-for-a-moment.
Turns out that Twilight was actually terrible. Horrible acting. Horrible leads. Weak, lame, poorly executed Romeo & Juliet moments. And frankly, the 'actress' who plays Bella only had two emotions.
And don't get me started on the falling in love forever, at first sight nonsense.
So, after the first DVD was finished, she said "That was really bad". More derision on the actress that played Bella, and her one-dimensional character.
And I just couldn't get in to vampire-boy's 'charming, glittering good looks'. Looks to me like he got hit in the face with a shovel - except it didn't break his nose, just flattened everything out.
Then, we watch another film with her in it (Adventureland), and she was THE EXACT SAME PERSON! The show wasn't bad, but she portrayed the exact same emotional stretch, depth, and variation as she did when playing Bella. So, the woman in my life for whom I have much affection said "Maybe it's just her".
Enter New Moon. I have to admit, it did take 30 minutes before we couldn't resist complaining about the slow pacing, terrible storyline, horribly sudden plot jerks, and the unfortunate downplay of the Vampires v. Werewolves moment. (And the big hole in the ethics, where the wolf says the vampires get to hang out unless one of them bites a human - after the human tells the wolf that one of them bit her. Should have been open season on the leeches.)
Again, it was terrible. Which made me wonder, what the hell are all these people thinking? Sure, it's made for women (who don't want wolf-vamp violence as much as they may prefer 'true love'). Sure, it's made by committee (Stephanie Meyer didn't write the screenplay, and producers spend money to keep their fingers in the pie). But still, it really wasn't very good.
Again, the woman in my life whom I can't get enough of, pointed out something interesting. The other characters in the film (the rest of the vampires, the outsider werewolves, the friends in the high school (including the one with the Oscar nomination for Up in the Air) and the vampires in Italy) - all of them are MORE INTERESTING than Bella and Edward. Hell, even Jacob was overshadowed by the rest of the wolves.
Plus, they got Dakota Fanning to play what seems like the baddest vampire of them all. Not sure what she can do, why she can do it, and why she isn't ruling the world, but she's interesting. I want to know more about her. And Alice. And the rest of the Cullens. Anyone but Edward and Bella.
DAKOTA FANNING! And the power, well, that does it for me. I want to see Vampires wreck people. I want to see the wreck each other. The one that can do so with a thought - that's the movie I want to see.
Don't get me wrong, I like a good love story. The Romeo & Juliet with Claire Danes was pretty good. I watch Love, Actually pretty much every time TiVo picks it up. I laughed at The Proposal. I'm kind of a sucker for love. Teen infatuation, though, not so much.
Anyway, I just wanted to vomit about what is being sold to little girls as an empowering relationship between THE MAN and his little woman, who needs him to keep her safe, needs him to make her feel good, needs him to feel a thrill, needs him in order to have any strength of personality or worth in the world. She's not smart. She's not talented. She's not graceful. She's just 'special' in the world of Vampires - without which she'd just be that girl in the cast at the dance...
Edward, Bella... y'all can bite me.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
No Such Thing As Pandas
Here goes.
Every time I see a 'panda', it's doing something like this:
Maybe this:
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Either way, that 'panda' could be my uncle Larry during a Jets game.
Fat. Lazy. Eating. Lounging.
Which led me to thinking, I've never seen a panda.
Actually, I have. Or at least what looks like a panda. I was 6" from one in the Berlin zoo, and I'm still not convinced it wasn't my uncle Larry in a panda-suit. So, with Capitalism reeling from a global recession, China on the upswing through unfair corporate tactics and the general rape of their environment, it occurred to me that this whole Panda Phenomenon might be a long, painful conspiracy on the part of the Chinese Government.
Ever since they suckered Nixon in to visiting, and gave the National Zoo those first 'bears', the U.S. has been struggling to maintain a secure lead over Asian countries in business, economics, math, science, and dark hair.
Pandas. That's why. They put people in convincing bear costumes and forced them to pretend to be a rare 'native species'. Probably where all the Falun Gong supporters have gone. And the Tiananmen protesters.
So, all those people the Chinese government want to keep quiet are permanently sealed in high-tech panda suits, complete with voice inhibitors and deadly claws. They're cumbersome, though, and after a while it sort of grows on you. Thus, they can't get out, can't tell anyone they are in there, and so on. Maybe they've been lobotomized too. Doesn't matter.
What matters is that you've never seen a panda either. No one I know has first-hand experience with a panda. Nothing better than my 6-inches-through-the-glass experience. Every picture? Guy in a suit. Every little animal? Animatronics. (Jim Henson did it, and with him unfortunately out of the picture, no one is protecting his patents).
If you think you've got proof of a panda, I just remind you that Chewbacca was fake too.
So, don't believe everything you read. Don't believe everything you hear. Be skeptical. Is Obama trying to take our guns? Not sure - probably pandas. Is Glenn Beck paid by the Antichrist to slander democrats? Not sure - probably pandas. Are aliens abducting people and probing them in order to ultimately take over our planet? Definitely pandas.
Which introduces the point of this blog. I'm driven by a desire to randomly word-vomit stuff that's on my mind. Much will be for me. Some for others. Some for no one in particular. If you like it, great. If not, don't read it. I'm going to predict that a lot of this is going to involve the life of my twins, who turn either 1 or 7 next month, depending on how you measure these things.
Thanks for the time...
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