27 - a problem that you have had

Yesterday my office brought in lunch from PotBelly Sandwiches. I don't normally like warm/hot sandies, but they got here at 11:00 and my lunch didn't start until 12:30 so they weren't hot any more. Anyway, I had my pair of halves, a plate of salad, and got a cookie or two. I also got the chips, but didn't eat them. Frankly, I shouldn't have eaten most of it.

When I worked at B. Dalton I had 15 minute breaks, usually two of them, but only one at a time. I was bad at preparing things, so I usually popped over to the Chinese food place and got something, brought it back, wolfed it down, and went back to work. I spent most of my regular meals that way for maybe 3-4 years. Leave, order, return, eat, work. 15 minutes, all at once. Eventually, my schedule allowed for real lunch breaks or something, but by then the damage was done.

I didn't know what I was doing until I ate out with someone in some casual setting and they noticed I was done with my entire meal prior to them getting started on the main course. They had the same plate of food, but mine was empty and they had basically not started. Further, I ate so fast I outpaced my digestion and was done before I felt done. So I ate more.

Since the bookstore, I've had a problem with lots of food. I eat a lot, if it's free. Food was never scarce in my house growing up, so I can't pin it there. But my dad was a compulsive eater, an over-eater, and ultimately died due to weight-related issues. Regardless, when PotBelly showed up and I was one of the last out there to get food, AND there was a bunch of food left, all I wanted to do was eat everything and then steal/store away as much as I could without looking bad. I got a sandy, chips, and cookies for the wife, another for my dinner, and then another as well. There were more, but I needed to reign it in. I told my wife you'd think I grew up in an orphanage, always wondering if "please, sir, may I have some more"...

So that's something I'm working on. It's not a third-world problem, for sure. If there's free food, I have to struggle to let anyone else have any or to eat appropriately and not force it all in so that it doesn't go to waste (which it probably wouldn't, but we aren't talking about rationality here). I don't want to be fat, unhealthy, or any of that, but put a bunch of free food out and watch me stuff it in...